Excuse my rant…

I just did a life-planning thing on Bristol Council’s website. The only good thing I could think about where I am now is Ivan. I hate this city and Bath, I hate the people, the noise, the fact it never gets dark, I’m scared to go anywhere, I nearly had a panic attack walking to Morrisons earlier, it takes forever to get anywhere a) because it takes me an age to get out of the door and b) because the cars are so unfriendly to pedestrians. It’s ridiculous! There should be more pedestrian crossings, it actually took me almost 10 minutes to walk across a road earlier. It wasn’t even a dual carriageway or a main road, no, just a residential road. People here are ridiculous. And I’m stuck at university which I hate, I don’t fit in at all, I don’t ever want to go, I’m just not interested. On the other hand, I’ve no idea what I’d do if I did drop out (other than avoid the wrath of my mother); creative writing would probably destroy my love for it, I can’t really do anything else, I’m not academic, the only thing I got really interested in other than writing was etymology and the spread of language across the country with the move of foreign invasion. But no, there’s not a degree for that, unless I take something at UWE which seems to involve some sort of linguistics. I should just have done English of some description to begin with, but no, for some reason I decided I should do Sociology. Or mum decided I should do it, I’m not really sure any more. My main point is I can’t stay in this city much longer without going insane, that’s if I’m not insane already. I may as well be insane, it’s now on my medical record that I have a panic disorder.